A year ago.

Jackson's big surgery was a year ago today. In some ways it has flown by, but it other ways it seems like a lifetime has passed.

The actual surgery was a huge success. I will never forget the pure gratitude I felt towards God and those three surgeons.

We went into surgery thinking that was our last step. There was a small chance of a few radiation treatments, but it wasn't talked about much and the overall feeling was that all would be well after surgery.

And we were READY. We were ready for our pre-cancer life back, ready to not be isolated, ready to get back to normal.

But then that initial pathology report came back a couple of days later. The tumor was angrier than earlier thought, a higher-grade than guessed pre-surgery.

I will never forget our beloved Dr. W bursting through our hospital door during naptime, already mid-conversation about the findings. When I think about that moment, something another cancer parent said comes to mind..."Everything was fine. Until that split second that it wasn't."

Dr. W is probably the smartest person I have ever met and he does not beat around the bush. That conversation wasn't fun...we were tired, upset, terrified and truly surprised.

We thought it was over.

And we were thrown back into the chemo game, only this time it was much more intense. The 'few' radiation treatments turned into 20.

But, as hard as it all was, we've been lucky. Today I look at him and see a healthy little boy with a head full of (unruly) hair.

I am so thankful to be on this side of surgery, chemo, radiation. I feel like it's harder emotionally now than it was then. The adrenaline has worn off I guess.

Thankfully, Jackson is blissfully unaware of any silly anniversary and is as happy, wild, loving and inquisitive as ever.


{The night before surgery. Momma needed to pack for a week+ in the hospital, bathe babies and generally clean up. So of course making matching shirts was at the top of the must-do list.}


{Ready.}


{Waiting, waiting, more waiting.}


{Uncle Wes keeping Brayden company.}


{Sleeping off anesthesia with Batman.}


{Daddy trying to get our sweet, tired, over-it guy to smile.}