Monday, July 19, 2010

Round 9

Round 9 is in the books!

Weight was great, bp was perfect, counts are pretty good (but still neutropenic) considering how low they have gotten before at this point.

As always, Jackson was the bravest boy ever. No tears, minimal fussing. He kept us laughing and smiling.

He passed the time by playing cars and using his port tail as a microphone. That boy loves an audience.

{I love this picture because he's watching his Daddy}

{He gained a little over a pound! Momma's proud.}

{Expert button-pusher}

{Getting better at sitting still for bp}

{Such a brave boy}


{I ♥ these boys}

{I ♥ this one too}


{Examining the airplane Dr. Lenarsky gave him}

{Insert boy noise here}

{And here}

{Trains, trains, trains!}


{Milk and a movie}

When we were leaving we passed the "meeting room". Inside was a new family. In the split second that I laid eyes on the mom, I recognized the confusion and pain on her face. How is this happening? My child is healthy, what are you talking about? WHY?

Not even two months ago that was us in that room, getting our world turned upside down.

Ugh. Remembering that day...hurts.

We are still up and down emotionally. We have good days and not-so-good days.

Thankfully, most times Ryan and I don't have the not-so-good days at the same time.

If I can keep my head above water and not think of all that my baby has endured and will endure, then I am fine and can function pretty close to normal.

But sometimes I slip below that water line...and I struggle.

I struggle with so many things, but mostly with the realization that this is NOT going away.

This is our life now. Forever. No going back.

What in the world did I get upset or mad about before? I don't know. It feels like a lifetime ago.

Whatever it was, it pales in comparison to the kind of hurt I feel now.

This is real stuff, people. And it all scares me to death. Completely takes my breath away.

Thankfully, I have a God that loves me, that loves my baby more than I do. And He has a plan.

Knowing that is what gets me through.

{That and Jackson's funnies. He just asked me if he could get INTO the TV. He wanted to dance with the Fresh Beat Band. FUNNIEST KID EVER.}

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18

Faithful and Fighting,


  1. You are one amazing Momma with one amazing and strong little guy! I have so much love for all of you and sending you many, many prayers. XXOO

  2. I just found you through Lady Bloggers and wanted to say how much your story has touched my heart. Your boy is absolutely incredible but you and your hubby should also give yourselves credit for being so strong and resilient. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers--thanks for sharing your story.



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